STEROIDS - PART 1

This is Part 1 of a six-part series.

Today I started a 12-day regimen of the steroid Prednisone for asthma problems that arose from a severe cold I've had for 4 weeks.  Today and tomorrow I take six tablets, then the dosage is slowly weaned down so that by the 12^th day I’ll be taking one tablet, then none.

The good news about Prednisone is that it is not the type of steroid that is abused by athletes.  Great – at least I won’t end up looking like this:

The bad news about Prednisone is that it may produce some very strange side effects, including:

-       Weight gain.  (Oh, joy.)

-       Increase of blood sugar.  (I have Type II diabetes – what fun.)

-       Difficulty sleeping (Great.  Just what I need.)

-       Increased sweating (Yippee!)

-       Mood swings; nervousness.  (This should be interesting.)

-       Vomit that looks like coffee grounds.  (WTF???)

The best time to take this medication is in the morning because it can cause difficulty sleeping, but I didn’t get out of my doctor’s office till 5 p.m.  The pharmacist told me to take the six tabs ASAP, and they have to be taken with food.  So I rushed home, had a quick peanut butter sandwich, swallowed the pills, and hoped for the best.

*****

8:30 p.m.  I’m glued to the TV as the last of the 33 Chilean miners is raised to the surface.  Finally, a news story worth watching.  But something feels strange . . . some of my senses seem to be heightened.  Everything I see seems crisper and sharper, as if the outlines of everything are more defined.  I have to turn off the lamp next to me because the light seems so intense.  My hearing has been affected too – the voices on the telly have a surreal ring to them.  It sounds like Anderson Cooper is sitting right in my living room.  I tell Paul, my husband and soul mate, about these sensations.  He looks me in the eye and says, “Look at you – you’re out of your mind on steroids!”  I tell him to shut up.

10:00 p.m.  Paul and I retire to the bedroom to watch Top Chef Just Desserts.  The most amazing thing has happened – my constant wheezing has disappeared.  This is a good sign.

11:00 p.m.  I want to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but where's the damn remote?  Paul wants to go to sleep and won’t help me find it.  He gets up and turns off the TV manually.  I resign myself to a long evening of trying to get some sleep.

Steroids - Part 2