My fears about not sleeping on the evening of Day 3 were unfounded; I slept soundly through the night and woke up early yesterday, fully rested. I took my 2nd day of 5 pills, read my e-mail, then two chapters of this week’s vamp novel. But then I could read no more. A strange sensation came over me; after weeks of exhaustion and lethargy, I was overwhelmed by an unbelievable surge of energy. I couldn’t sit still. My mind was buzzing with things I wanted to do. I got up and began dusting the entire living room, then I cleaned out a closet. Trust me -- housecleaning is not my strong point, so this flurry of activity was most unusual. I worked so frantically that I was soon soaked in sweat. I took a shower, trimmed my hair, then tried to sit down and read some more, but it was hopeless. I just could not sit still.
Paul was beginning to worry. If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am the farthest thing from a Type A personality. I am as laid back as they come. I’m not a slacker – when things need to be done, I do them, but at my own pace. So it’s no wonder that Paul was worried – I was zooming around like a yellow jacket around a jar of honey – totally out of character for me.
I felt like I had to get out of the house, so I decided to make a trip to Target to buy some new dishes. Despite his concern, I convinced Paul that I was OK to drive myself. As I got into the car the heightened vision I’ve been experiencing was very noticeable -- the brilliant fall leaves on trees were nothing short of psychedelic. Undaunted, I put on my sunglasses and headed out to Route 16 on my way to Target. Amazingly, I had no problem driving. I got to the mall and walked into the store.
The minute I entered I took off my sunglasses and was blinded by complete sensory overload. The first thing I saw was a huge Halloween display and the colors literally made my head spin. Ghoulish sounds and spooky Halloween music were playing, and eyeballs were staring at me. Don't get me wrong -- I love Halloween, but when your vision and hearing are in altered states, the Halloween display at Target is not the place you want to be.
As quickly as I could, I navigated my shopping cart through a maze of giant walls of soup, teetering towers of storage bins, and jumbled shelves of household cleaners before I got to the rear of the store where the dishes are.
I was overwhelmed by the cacophony of happily chirpping Target shoppers. Claustrophobia set in. I began sweating heavily. I raced to the dish aisle and hastily picked out two sets of dishes -- one black, one red -- threw the heavy boxes into my cart, then made my way to the checkout as fast as I could. I was frantic to get home. Again, driving was not a problem, and I made the return trip without a hitch.
I was overwhelmed by the cacophony of happily chirpping Target shoppers. Claustrophobia set in. I began sweating heavily. I raced to the dish aisle and hastily picked out two sets of dishes -- one black, one red -- threw the heavy boxes into my cart, then made my way to the checkout as fast as I could. I was frantic to get home. Again, driving was not a problem, and I made the return trip without a hitch.
The whole experience was incredibly surreal. While I was in the store I felt like I wasn’t really there. I grew up in the 1960s, and like many young people then, I experimented with drugs. My excursion to Target brought me back to those psychedelic days – it felt close to tripping, but without all the fun.
When I got home I told Paul what had happened. He joked and told me he hid all the kitchen knives. (I love that guy!) He told me to sit down and try to relax, then he made me dinner to calm me down. He served it on our beautiful new red dinnerware. It worked to a certain extent; I was able to chill out a bit and watch a couple of Masterpiece Mysteries without feeling the need to clean the house from top to bottom. Unfortunately, I was still unable to read, but at least I wasn’t jumping out of my skin anymore.
Last night I was again able to get a full night’s sleep. Today I still feel a bit on the speedy side, but now I am behind in my reading and will have to spend the day hunkered down with my nose in my book.
The good news about all this is that my breathing is vastly improved – no more wheezing at all. I can still feel some residual gunk in my lungs when I wake up in the morning, but it doesn’t bother me during the day or while I’m sleeping.
This weird experience made me think about people who abuse steroids. I can understand how the feeling of euphoria might be exhilarating – up to a point – but I cannot fathom living with this feeling every day. I can clearly see how daily usage of this drug could put you over the edge. Today I’m down to four pills and I eagerly await the day when I’m done with this medication. It will be soon, and that is a reason to be cheerful.
Steroids Part 5
Steroids Part 5
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